Yes, It hurts to see someone move on without you. But if there’s a general rule to life: it moves on! And so must you.
Here are some of the ways you can let go of an ex who has moved on…
- Stop cyberstalking them
Visiting your ex’s social media pages to check what they are up to is like taking poison and hoping that it will not kill you. It will kill you through stress and emotional frustrations. As it is often said, what you feed grows. So if you constantly feed your mind with images of your ex and updates on their lives, you will be frustrated. Seriously, stop constantly visiting their social media pages and checking what they are up to. Better still, block them. A friend of mine uninstalled all their social media apps on their phone as a way of ensuring that they do not check it. If you are really committed to moving on, you need to have some extreme social media changes.
- Realize you did nothing wrong
People blame themselves for loving their exes after they break up. That might be true to some extent especially if you never took time to act on the negative personality trait signs as soon as you noticed them. But then again, that’s the past! It already happened and you cannot undo that part of your life. You should instead concentrate on reminding yourself that you did nothing wrong for choosing to love them. Choosing to love someone is an act of courage. You should appreciate yourself even more for loving them unconditionally.
- Trust that you made the right decision
Trusting the decisions you make about any aspect of your life is a life hack you have to master. This applies to the decision to move on with your life after a break-up. You might have just dodged a bullet by deciding to move on. Maybe he/she was just not meant for you and as always, you are destined for better and bigger love. So sit still, trust that you made the right decision and life will reward you with more glorious love.
- Cut off communication
The best way to do this is giving yourself a target. Decide that you will not talk to this person for the next 30 days (or more). To make it even more concrete and realistic use a calendar and tick off the days that you successfully live through without communicating with them. If it happens that you communicate before the end of your target days, don’t give up on yourself. You should never give up on yourself anyway! Start all over again and trust that you can hit your target. If you are truly determined you will do it. Doing this successfully will teach you that you can live without them.
- Stop trying to make them feel bad
Don’t stoop that low. You are a kind, beautiful, positive and awesome human. Don’t make them feel bad for choosing to leave you. Making them feel bad will hurt you even more. Choose instead to do things that make you feel happier and laugh. What makes you happy? Make a list of these things and go ahead and do them.
- Create some space for yourself
Constantly seeing your ex will frustrate your moving on efforts. It easier to move on if you don’t constantly see this person. Move to a different location if you may. This will also give you a chance to experience a new life away from them and also allow you to meet new people. Give yourself time to heal; yes, time heals even the deepest of wounds.
- Talk about it with your best friends
Vulnerability is therapeutic. Talking about your life’s frustrations, stresses, and even worst breakups will leave you feeling better. You’ll feel like a heavy load has been lifted from your shoulders or offloaded a burden from your heart and mind. While talking about it, you will realize that you will find answers within you that you need on how to move on. Make sure you find a friend that is willing to listen. A lot of people have been through the same situation and your friend might be one of them; they might just give you awesome advice!
- Get something to distract you.
Find new activities to do that will distract you from the pain you’re going through. Focus your energy on something else that is will not remind you of the previous relationship. Meet new people. Hit the gym. Do exercises. Learn a new skill. Hike through the woods with friends who support you. Join a club e.g. book club or something that will help you to stay busy. This will help distract you and enable you to let go of that ex. Journaling your progress is also known to work magic in this journey. On a daily basis, ask yourself what progress you have made and write about it. Reward yourself for making substantial progress such as avoiding communication, not checking their social media and meeting new people.
- Get rid of their stuff and things that remind you of your ex
Start by trashing everything that your ex left in your apartment. Why torture yourself by letting yourself see this stuff every day? Bin their stuff especially if they are unwilling to collect them. A friend of mine threw everything out including gifts she had received from her ex. She then went ahead and avoided the places they had visited together for 60 days. By the time she was done, she had made so much progress. You can do the same too!
- Get up and every day and show up at work and school
Locking yourself up in your room forever will not change anything. You need to get up and go out there and conquer the world. Moving on from a breakup is easier if you keep on doing your duties, attending school, showing up at work. It will communicate to your brain and emotions that life happens even after your ex lives. Life doesn’t stop, and you shouldn’t either!
Letting go of an ex is not an easy thing. It takes time, courage, effort, and requires getting out of a comfort zone; that zone that you were in when you loved someone. You now have to do things in a different way to adjust to the fact they no longer exist. Sometimes life has to take a totally different lane in order for it to give you better and richer experiences. Holding on is part of being human, but letting go of an ex is surely a necessity. Tell us in the comment section about a different tip that you used to move on from your ex! As always, see you on the happiness lane!