Moving on from your broken relationship boils down to a simple concept; getting rid of the clutter in your life. Your ex falls under the same category as the broken shoe, torn pair of jeans, headset or damaged electronics that you’re still holding onto. As you throw that in your trash bin, so should the memories of your ex, the numerous text messages, photos, filtered selfies, and all their stuff that they left in your apartment.
Why you should let go of your ex
What is the point of holding on to broken goods? You’re not a garbage bin. The fact that one of you felt that the relationship wasn’t working means exactly that-it wasn’t working. If you want to have tremendous amounts of peace in your life, constantly get rid of the clutter in your life. Throw away old receipts. Bin old notebooks that are occupying space on your shelf. Bin old makeup, spices and clothes that you no longer wear. Not only does this leave you with more space to work with, it leaves you with a clear, fresh and a mind with less clutter. Same concept applies to your ex. Letting go of your ex will leave you with less worry, happier and with less dysfunctional people in your life which equals happiness!
Still need more reasons to convince you to move on? I know you do because hey, at some point in your life, your ex was your world. Read on for more…
Having a deep romantic relationship almost feels like the two of you are living on a separate planet; just the two of you 😉 So when it comes to letting go of your ex, you need to give yourself time to grieve. However, you cannot grieve and move on if you’re still holding on to the relationship. Take time to have conversations with yourself. You have accumulated so much wisdom from your parents, friends, siblings, networks and books that you have read. Acknowledge the pain. Experience the hurt, but remember not to overstay in the situation. Remind yourself that you are stronger than the pain you’re going through. There’s bigger, better and deeper love awaiting your glorious self!
To emotionally reconnect with yourself
If you were in a relationship with your ex for long, you might have forgotten that at the end of the day, you belong to yourself. This experience might also have messed up your emotional resilience. You are going to live with yourself long after your ex is gone. Taking time to get some emotional clarity will help you decide what to do next after a breakup. If you do not take time to emotionally reconnect with yourself, you will take longer to move on from your ex. Take time to remind yourself of your values and also to appreciate yourself for being strong enough to have lived through a break-up. Re-establish or create a deep relationship with yourself. You will need to rebuild your emotional resilience as you will need to always be strong for yourself as long as you live and love!
To avoid idolizing your ex or the relationship
The further you deep yourself into the mud, the harder and longer it’s going to take you to get out of it. Often when you have not let go of your ex, you will find yourself idolizing the person or the relationship. You will exist in a relationship that isn’t there. You might start thinking of the good times that you had with your ex which might make you sadder and prevent your moving on efforts. So stop digging into these past memories and start working on the future.
To create space for a new relationship
This might be with yourself or with a new lover. There’s no shame in wanting to be loved and wanting to share your life with another person. Even though most of us feel like we can’t love someone else after a breakup, it is important to keep reminding ourselves that the relationship didn’t work out for a reason. Let loose and allow yourself to experience new love. Letting go of an ex you still love will open up your eyes to better things, most probably better and happier relationships.
Why you should not be friends with your ex
Stopping yourself from texting or calling your ex a few weeks, months or even a year after a breakup is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Love doesn’t really have to turn into hate. If you don’t want to keep ties with your ex, it’s okay. They might have heartbroken you, killed your dream, messed up your life but at the end of the day this is someone who at some point meant the whole world to you; so that feeling cannot just turn from love to hate overnight.
On the contrary, you should avoid being friends with your ex for the following reasons;
It makes you cling to the false hope that you will get back together
Being friends with your ex will mislead you. This is especially true if the ex is the one behind the idea on the two of you having a friendship. You may have made up your mind to move on but this situation will get you confused as any kind gesture will be confused with mixed signals. The wrong signals will make you have mixed feelings especially when you are still in love with them. You might build hopes high and be heartbroken even more at the end of it all. Avoid being friends with your ex especially when you’re still in your journey towards getting over a heartbreak.
You cannot be ‘just friends.’
Being friends with your ex will make your journey of letting go harder. When you are friends with your ex, there are more expectations compared to a normal friendship you have with other people. They might want to be treated the same way they were being treated when you were in a relationship. You have to make some limitations that won’t send wrong signals or make them feel jealous. Such things make the relationship hard to keep up with.
It leads to awkward situations when you’re with your mutual friends
Hanging out with your ex plus your mutual friends becomes a very tough situation if you choose to remain friends with your ex. How should your mutual friends treat him/her? In fact, this might lead to your mutual friends avoiding the two of you all together! Let go. Don’t drag other people into the mess.
The odds of finding new love are minimal if you still hanging out your ex
How do you tell your new found love that you still hang out with your ex? That’s a perfect way to end your new relationship. No one will want to see you hang out with an ex every weekend in the name of being friends. The person in the new relationship will definitely be more insecure and this will either lead to more breakups and unsteady relationships. Leave baggage where it belongs; in the past.
You can’t undo the past
There is no way you are going to ignore what happened between the two of you in the past. Every time you see him/her you will have flashbacks; which makes it even harder for you to let go. Why choose to make yourself suffer twice?
Holding on to your past relationship does not add any value to your life. Letting of your ex is a necessity if you want to avoid repeated heartache and frustrations. As you get rid of the clutter in your life today, include your ex in the garbage bag! Gift yourself a stress-free life. While you’re at it, dance and sing along to Beyoncé’s jam Irreplaceable as you tell him/her ‘to the left, to the left…’